Meness

Where to begin. 2016, you snuck up on me and you bring a lot to talk about. But before we begin on what’s new, it seems more fitting to look back on our old friend 2015. It was, quite the year. I’m not sure if I should call it good, or bad, or simply say that it was.

At some point as we crept toward the beginning of 2015 I realized that I had lost myself. My “meness” as it were. It’s hard to pinpoint when it happened, and it’s very likely that it didn’t all at once, not really. It was slowly eroded and chipped away. All the easier to go unoticed.

I am well aware of some of the reasons why. And I know I’ve ever promised to be truthful and open here, but there are some things...some things my dears, that even I think should be left burried. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to dredge up, or blame. What matters is simply that it happened and that I realized “me” was worth fighting for.

And it was a fight. Every step of the way, every little bit reclaimed and put back together. Something I find interesting is that...it’s not exactly the same as it was before. The broken pieces reassembled resemble the same thing, but their shape is slightly different. I am me, and I am more. I had to make room for pieces I didn’t know were missing, and the glue itself that helped me hold together has made a difference…

There is so much in that glue.

Family, friends, love and support that I never thought to open up to or trust before. Silly girl thought she could hold herself ...and everyone around her, all together on her own.

I learned crazy concepts this past year as well. Like the astounding fact that I deserve to be happy. That other people’s happiness is much less my responsibility than formerly believed. And that I deserve to be loved for that “meness” as aforementioned.

But mostly, it all comes back to the glue. To those that know who you are, thank you. To those that may not, I pray I get the chance to show you.

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Welcome to my little corner of the crazy. I can't promise I will always have something intelligent to say. Or that my wit will always leave you laughing. But I can say this much...what you see is what you get. I am me...and I'm going to endeavor to share that uncensored. So, pull up a seat. Enjoy yourself and if I perhaps entertain you feel free to...

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